Albanese Sour Gummi Bears

Mine says "sour throughout" like some kinda Criss Angel stunt tagline

Hey everyone! This Carl coming at you from the Crap Shack! Tonight I'm sitting around eating these gummi bears! Wtf does gummi even mean? I generally just call them gummy bears like most humans I imagine. Maybe thats the magic of it... even when we say out loud "gummy" we could be saying "gummi" all along. Now we all owe the copyright holder of gummi millions of dollars.

Pssst... Get in touch with me about my cut mysterious gummi billionaire!

I dunno if any of you guys are like me... but I love sour candy. I always have. I remember eating Warheads in elementary school and being able to keep a straight face and I cant even remember the number of times Ive ate sour skittles until my tongue hurt. And dont even get me started on Sour Patch Kids... mmmm mmmm good!

So the other night while I was wandering around my friendly neighborhood Wally World I happened across these in the candy aisle and after getting the cartoon theme song stuck in my head ("Gummmmmmmmi BEEEEEEAAAAAAARRRRSSSSS!!! Bouncing here and there and every where!") I said to myself "Carl, you should try those!" so here I am!

Usually my first thought when I hear gummi bears

The packaging I feel doesnt do them justice so heres a pic from the official website!

Look at that detail!

They look delicious! And unfortunately... thats about where it goes off the rails. They arent bad really. The sour is good and its no lie they are sour start to finish, which is nice. But the problem here lies in the individual flavors the sour is mixed with. Flavors include: Cherry, Pink Grapefruit, Watermelon, Strawberry, Orange, Blue Raspberry, Lime, Grape, Green Apple, Mango, Pineapple, & Lemon.

 That quote straight from the website tells you the magical 12 flavors. Now heres where all the bad starts to really pile on... It goes from "Hmm those look tasty as hell!" to "Someone finally nailed what 'The Fly' looks like in a taste..." in about 5 seconds.

These things are fat free, gluten free, and low sodium... All good things, generally, separately or together... but not exactly something I want in my snacks. Take all the negatives that come with removing those and imagine normal, non sour, candy with those flavors. Its gonna be totally hit and miss right? Some of the flavors might be ok, others kinda meh, and the rest pretty damn bad.

Now add sour... not just on top as a coating but in the mix with the flavors too. Those ok flavors become the meh flavors and the rest become various shades of beans from the "every flavor beans" someones already combed through for the good ones.

So depending on your non sour flavor preferences you have that chance in 12 of getting a flavor thats not better than just suckin on the horse hoof the gummy dust comes from. Its just too much!

1. Health options
2. Fruit flavors
3. Sour throughout

Any two of those together might work out just fine and be an awesome gummi snack. All three together though just aint cuttin it folks!

I give em 4 poops! If I didnt like sour stuff and gummi stuff so much Id chuck em! Figure it out Albanese!

Remember less poops is better. Find more info about the rating system here.

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